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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23824363">it's clear to me now (i found a place to fall)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bytheseas/pseuds/bytheseas'>bytheseas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christopher Diaz is a national hero, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Shot, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23824363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bytheseas/pseuds/bytheseas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They’re sitting on the couch together one night, when Chris brings it up: “Do you think I could have two dads?”</p>
<p>or, Chris takes Eddie by surprise and sets some things in motion.</p>
<p>written for Chris Diaz Week</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>639</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's clear to me now (i found a place to fall)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Once I knew Chris Diaz week was a thing, I knew I simply had to participate, so here we are.</p>
<p>written for the prompt: april 24th - day five: chris and his idiot dads</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They’re sitting on the couch together one night, when Chris brings it up: “Do you think I could have two dads?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie just stares at his kid, for a moment, but he’s saved from responding when Chris goes on:  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Joey from school has two dads.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie thinks this must be a normal thing for a kid to wonder about.  There are plenty of single parents in the world, but Chris doesn’t see many in his daily life other than his father.  It’s been a while since his mom passed away, and Chris still brings her up sometimes, lovingly, and they talk about her, but maybe he’s wondering why he doesn't have another parent in his day-to-day life.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris, some kids have one parent with them, like you, and others have two.  Some kids have a mom and a dad, or two dads, or two moms, or more than two parents.  Every family is different, mijo.  Maybe someday I will meet someone and date them and then you would have to get to know him or her and we would have to decide if we liked them,”  he tells his son.  He mentally pats himself on the back for his quick thinking in this unprecedented moment of parenting, but the next words out of his son’s mouth send him for a loop. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, dad, I’m not talking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’m talking about Buck!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie stares at his child, and he wants to think he got this idea out of nowhere, but when he thinks about it he knows that he didn’t.  Buck spends enough time in their house that it feels like he belongs there.  He sits so often on their couch that he has a spot, that neither of the Diaz’s sit in when he’s not there.  He picks Chris up from school and reads him bedtime stories when he asks.  Buck found a way for Chris to ride on a skateboard and he holds him when he cries.  Buck saved his life.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He can see why Chris would want Buck to be his dad.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How does he explain this to a kid?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Buck and I aren’t together, mijo.  We’re not dating,”  he says, gently.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you are,”  Chris tells him.  “Joey and I talked about it.  His dads take him to the park together, they laugh together, they eat dinner together, they make breakfast for each other.  They smile at each other, with big smiles.  You and Buck do all of those things.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The truth of it is, it’s not like Eddie hasn’t thought about this.  He thinks about it all the time, more and more lately.  He thinks about it when he catches Buck laughing or the light catching his hair, or the sparkle in his eyes when he’s excited, or any of the million other things that make Evan Buckley so endearing to him.  Eddie thinks of saying something -- of leaning in and kissing the smile on his face, but Buck is straight, as far as he knows, and Buck is his friend, the closest friend that he has in this world, and he doesn’t want to mess that up.  He can’t lose him.  He can’t lose what they have.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They’ve let things get between them before, and he almost didn’t make it through the distance.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s about to tell Chris again that he and Buck are just friends, when Chris drops another bombshell: </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I talked to Buck about being my dad and he said-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You talked to Buck about it?”  Eddie cuts in before he can stop himself, but then tries to school his face into something calm and attentive.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Keep it together, man.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah he was quiet for a while and then he said he loves me a lot and he always will and I’m part of his family.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something in Eddie’s heart melts, even thinking about that conversation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s right,”  Eddie tells him, pressing a kiss to his son’s forehead.  “You have me as your dad and Buck is family to us.  We will talk about this more, later, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, dad,”  Chris nods.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He finds Buck at the fire station the next morning, and he had promised himself he would wait until after their shift, but he can’t hold back, so he says them right there as they're standing in front of one of the trucks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris told me what he asked you,”  Eddie tells him.  “I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay, yeah, I um --”  Buck cuts himself off and rubs at the back of his neck, then lets his hand fall by his side.  “I meant to tell you about that.  It didn’t make me uncomfortable.  It kind of made my day, it was sweet that he had that thought and that he likes me that much -- I mean, I love him.  I love you,”  He says that last line like it’s a simple fact.  The sky is green.  The grass is blue. He loves Eddie.  But Buck seems to catch on to what he said a moment later and his eyes go wide but he doesn’t take it back.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck loves him.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You love me?” Eddie asks, stepping a little closer.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,”  Buck lets the words out, in a breath, quiet but sure.  His gaze is steady, as he looks at Eddie, waiting for him to react. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All those years of doubt, of holding himself back, not letting himself have this, and it’s this simple.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They’re standing there in broad daylight in the middle of the fire station, with people milling about and the team surely watching, and Eddie doesn’t care about any of it.  He steps closer, still, and pulls Buck to him, kissing him.  Buck responds enthusiastically, hand on the back of Eddie’s head, holding him to him, as if he would even try to get away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Buck,”  Eddie says, when they part, and Buck lets out a giddy laugh. Their coworkers whoop behind them.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fatherhood is something to figure out someday down the line, but they love each other and they are family and that’s never been clearer.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They sit Chris down and tell him they’re dating a few days later, and his reaction is, as ever, unpredictable, and totally him:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I already knew that,”  Chris informs them.  “Glad you figured it out.  Can I call Joey?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://aziraphalescrowley.tumblr.com/">you can find me here</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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